things change.

This post is for all the precious people in my life who may have wondered (kindly) if I lost my mind six months ago.

I have been a "professional" worship leader for ten years. I started serving on a worship team in college, and worship ministry was my chosen career path upon graduating. Over those ten years, I have been raised, trained, and mentored in one of the greatest churches in America. Everyone around me supported me in my gifting and confirmed that I am a worship leader. I served with an amazing, authentic worship team and with humble, supportive pastors. I loved the Lord with all my heart, and trusted that He was going to keep me in the trajectory He had laid on my heart in college.

Life for this 20-something worship leader was picture-perfect, all things considered.

Then.

Eight years in, something changed. I got tired. No, not just tired--dry. Bone dry.

I lost vision for where we were headed in worship. I couldn't see how I could lead anyone into further growth when I was growing so tired of the routine myself. So, I blamed the routine. And in search of something that would wet my soul again, I abandoned unity with my leadership and my team. Chaos followed.

Personal struggles started hitting me in a different way, a way I didn't know how to manage. I took offense after offense after offense, and grew paranoid that my "position" was in jeopardy. When my leadership decisions were called into question, I took it as a personal attack. I was in misery, and I put everyone around me in misery as well.

I didn't know it at the time, but my entire sense of identity and self-worth was wrapped up in a season that was drying up.

Shortly after Easter 2013, God put a stop to the madness. I took a week off to pray about what I should do, thinking at first that I would just easily transition into another area of ministry. After all, God called me into vocational ministry in college, and surely something like that wouldn't change.

Except.

That week, He told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was to leave paid ministry. After that, the world was wide open--I could do anything I wanted, but the one thing I knew, and thought I would always do, was off-limits.

When you hear something that clearly, it may be scary to walk forward in obedience, but saying no is even more terrifying. So, with Travis' full agreement, I resigned.

As soon as I made that step, peace overtook me. The areas of my heart that were experiencing such turmoil became quiet, expectant, and finally open to the means of healing He chose. The strained relationships in my life finally were able to breathe. And my transition out, unlike so many others I have witnessed, was one of peace, joy, and honor on all sides.

In my mind, that can only be God.


So, where are we now? Experiencing life to the fullest. Joy beyond imagination, peace beyond our prayers, and healing that I so desperately needed.

Life abundant...all while working at a coffee shop.

More on that to come...

failure.

“What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?” –Robert H. Schuller

I hate that question. To me, it’s like dangling a carrot. Sure, it’s nice to dream, but the question implies a life that does not exist—a life free of failure.

But this is earth. And here on earth, failure is no stranger.

I’ve always been afraid of failure. That’s probably why I drove myself to get straight As throughout my elementary school years, and why it irks me to this day that I ended my college career with a GPA of 3.97. (That stupid Shakespeare class…)

I’ve been afraid of failing in relationships, too—be it with my family, friends, coworkers, or even the Lord. I’m always working to do, say, and be perfect…to no avail, of course. Striving has always been my issue, and it’s because I’m afraid of missing the mark.

But if there’s one thing I’ve had to come to terms with in my adult life, it’s that failure is real. It’s a fact of life. But most importantly, I don’t have to be afraid of it. In the hands of my loving God, failure can be a tool to shape me into the person He designed me to be all along.

“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” Psalm 37:23-24 (emphasis mine).

I’ve been learning lately that failure can be a great thing. First, it certainly keeps me humble. It also teaches me how not to do things, which is often just as important as the how-to. And if I let it, it can drive me into deeper dependence on the Lord! Triple win.

Failure doesn’t have to be final. God doesn’t intend for it to be. Because of Jesus, we have the freedom to dream, to try, to fail, and to try again. We will stumble—fact of life. But He upholds us with His hand—blessed reassurance!

So, when it comes to dreaming of the future, I think a more apt question for me is:

“What dream has God placed on my heart that is worth the risk of failure?”

I’m going to experience failure. And then I’m going to learn from it. Because the risk of not living the life God has planned for me is too great to shrink back.

an unexpected partnership.

A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. Proverbs 14:30

Have you ever had that sickening feeling inside, that sense that someone else has something better than you? That someone else is getting your “just desserts”? Have you ever felt that torment of bitter comparison, wondering what makes them so special and you not-so-much?

No? Oh…um…me neither.

Just kidding. I think we’ve all been there. Jealousy sneaks in and erodes like a cancer before we’ve taken it captive and dealt with it. The Bible shows us over and over again what a nasty business it is.

In praying through this very thing today, I made a startling discovery: jealousy and unbelief walk hand-in-hand. 

Think about it: If we truly believe that God is the Giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17) and that He has provided everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), would we really feel inclined to pine for someone else’s stuff?

If we are spending so much energy looking at another person’s success, status or possessions, making ourselves sick with asking “why,” then it could be that we are not believing that God has given us everything we need in this moment, at this time.

Choose to believe in God’s specific goodness to you, at this time, and jealousy instantly loses its power.

Life may not look the way you want it to right now. It’s okay. Truly, God is good, and He is preparing you for your future season. We go from glory to glory (Psalm 84:7, 2 Corinthians 3:18), whether our hands are full or empty. He is with us in the summer and the winter, and through every change in between. Let go of what is past, open your hands to what is coming, and give thanks for what you have today.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to rot anymore. Believe Him. Rest in His promises, and the tranquility that comes from trusting Him will bring life to your bones. 

a year ago today

A year ago today, we stood in our living room, looking around awkwardly. We held it together on the outside, but inwardly we wondered what on earth we were going to do.

The wedding was perfect. The honeymoon, glorious. Ten sweet days of celebrating, exploring new territory and relaxing--the only responsibilities we had at the time.

And then...we were "home." But was it really? I didn't have any of my things in your house, and you didn't know what your house was going to look like once I finally got settled. "How is this supposed to work?" we thought. Was marriage supposed to feel this...uncomfortable? Thank God for best friends and helpful articles from people who have been there. People who tell the truth and say, "Yeah, this feels weird, but it's normal. It's ok. I was there, and now I'm here, and it gets a lot better."

Because if I didn't know it got better, and SOON, I might have had a panic attack.

But it did get better. I "nested" as soon as possible, starting with a room I could easily claim as my own: the kitchen.  Somehow, that did the trick--it's amazing what putting up a few of your own cookbooks will do.

We opened gifts and displayed some of our things. We unpacked, packed, threw away, organized--all that boring moving stuff. But through all of that, we figured each other out a little more day after day. We asked questions, we talked things through, we felt the awkward pauses and pushed through them.

We celebrated, explored new territory, and, finally, we relaxed.

We developed our routines...at least, for that year. And they were good. It was all good, really--even that difficult day a year ago today.

I took a stroll around our neighborhood tonight and, as I walked up to our front steps, I remembered that feeling I had a year ago of looking at our door and realizing, "This is my door now. This is our house." And that same surge of excitement from 12 months ago rushed over me again, because there is absolutely nowhere else I'd rather be.

not for the timid.

2 Timothy 1:7

…for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

I went ice skating last week. I’m not what you might call “athletically inclined,” so this was more about me doing an act of love for my active husband than fulfilling a personal desire to learn to skate. 

My first few times around the rink were downright stressful because I was trying so hard not to fall. That ice is slippery stuff, and I don’t like bruises. So I faltered around for a while, and decided quickly that I needed a rest. My husband continued around the rink because he actually enjoys skating. I watched him go, envious of his boldness. I admired his willingness to try new things, regardless of whether or not he might fall as he learned. I even envied the little kids who seemed to have great balance—and great fun—as they glided on the ice.

And suddenly it dawned on me: I’d much rather focus on learning to skate than on simply not falling. One was a positive focus; the other was wholly negative. How can you be free to skate if you’re afraid of falling?

How can you really do anything if you’re afraid of failure? 

I’ve lived so much of my life trying to avoid failure that I often don’t enjoy living. If God has not given me a spirit of fear (and timidity, as some translations say), then why am I so timid? What does He really want me to accomplish in this life, in my relationships and in my walk with Him, that I’m too distracted to see because I don’t want to get bruised?

He’s given us a spirit of power, love and of a sound mind. He’s prepared us to truly live. Are we walking that out? I think He’s destined all of us to be excellent skaters, if we’d only stop worrying about the ice and let Him teach us how to glide.

And I think we’ll have a lot of fun doing it, too.

whoops.

Well hey there! I haven't blogged here in several months...sorry about that. I've recently been a guest blogger  with my friends over at seacoastworship.com, so that's been taking up some of my writing time. I'm also teaching at the Seacoast School of Worship a little bit, so that's taking up some brain space as well. All in all, life is truly grand. Travis and I are about to celebrate our first year of marriage, which I can hardly believe...why does time go by so quickly?

I will be sharing some of my worship posts on this blog, along with whatever else I can think of. I hope you are well, wherever you are and whatever you're doing! Thanks for reading.

-S

it's beginning to look a lot like...

It's Christmastime!! I LOVE Christmastime. I started listening to Christmas music back in September--mostly for research, but partly for pleasure. That's a little different for me, since I usually resist the introduction of anything Christmas-related before mid-November. This year is a little different, though. Not sure why, but I have just been very excited about Christmas coming...maybe it's because it's my first one as a married woman. Regardless, the hope that Christmas represents is one of the greatest gifts we have on earth, and that is something to celebrate no matter what the month. *cue piano music*

We decided to do things a little differently as far as church decor this year, which means that we basically built everything from scratch. I thought the results were pretty fantastic, so I decided it was blog-worthy and have included some instructions if you're of the Pinterest-persuasion.

This is our "North-pole"-inspired sign that was built from scratch by a carpenter here at the church. It's made entirely of old barn wood! We painted it white, glued red ribbon all the way up (Mod-Podge is a wonderful thing), and added the signs and snow later. If you look closely at the signs, they have been painted for an antique effect, which is actually very easy to do! See below for the instructions. 

We added Christmas-related words, like "Rejoice," "Emmanuel," "O Come All Ye Faithful," etc. to guide people into the worship center and children's hallways.

We took our very tired wreaths from Christmases past and revived them with some inexpensive red decorations and ribbon. It worked wonders!

And these...these are our masterpieces: homemade winter trees. We cut down some tree branches from the woods nearby, sponge-painted them with primer, and mounted them to the stage. I. LOVE. THEM.

And here are just a few more antiqued signs, hand-painted by the masterful Jeanne (of Jeanne Mitchum Photography--she does everything well). These are hanging in the back of the auditorium, tying the tech booth into the scheme of the whole room. 

To antique a piece of wood, 1) choose your base color. This will show through your top coat when the product is finished. 2) When the base color has dried, apply a layer of school glue to the whole piece. 3) Before the glue has dried (not wet but still tacky), apply your top color. As the glue and paint dry together, the paint will crack, revealing the base color and giving the piece that antique look!  

And when I say, "we," in this post, I really mean the geniuses below: John and Jeanne. John is the master of crafty, and Jeanne is just plain awesome with a paint brush. (There she is, throwing fake snow on the top left. Very serious business, this.)

Weeks like this make me love my job even more. We hope we have created a home-like atmosphere for the people attending our church this Christmas season. At any rate, we had fun.

So how do YOU decorate for Christmas?

for the birds.

I'm a bird nerd.

I'm drawn to things with birds on them--artwork, jewelry, etc. Birds were a theme at my wedding. It almost got to this point with me:



But it's not just because they've become very cool in our culture lately. I've become more interested in them over the past several years, especially after seeing the birds of paradise segment in "Planet Earth." I think they are one of the most fascinating species of animal that God created. I'm even at the point where I think I might enjoy bird-watching...but we'll see.

I saw one today during one of the parking-lot-walks that I often take during the day (sitting at a computer all day is the killer of creativity...and physical comfort). This little guy was sitting on top of a telephone pole, chirping at the top of his lungs for no apparent reason. I couldn't help but stop and listen to him, admiring the freedom and downright gusto with which he sang his song.

Each bird has its own song, you know. Its song is different from every other bird's song, and it's specific to breed and gender. And no bird seems afraid to sing.

I then think of the people around me. Each person has his or her own song to sing. It's different from any other person's song, and it is given them to benefit and beautify the world around them. And I do mean everyone: the cashier at Target, the guy driving like a crazy person on the interstate, the elderly woman with Alzheimer's at the assisted living facility...the person you don't like so much, the person you love...even you. Sometimes the beauty of the melody is muted by our hang-ups, but when we are finally freed up to truly sing our song, the world is changed for the better.

What's your song? What experiences do you have that need to be sung? What personality did God give you that is meant to be contributed to the chorus?

Furthermore, who can you teach to sing? Who can you harmonize with? And whose song do you need to listen to?

painful tuesday.

Difficult week so far, this week. A friend and coworker passed away unexpectedly, a highly respected pastor left his post for less-than-happy reasons, and multiple marriages are falling apart at the seams--and it's only a day and a half into the week. Oh, and then there's all that mess going on in the Middle East...

Lord, we need Your help.

Perhaps you're going through your own season of chaos as well. Maybe you're like me, when the weight of all that's going on in the world leaves your head spinning and your heart gasping for air. I don't have anything to offer you--except the truth of Who God is. And so I offer these songs of worship...may they remind you of Him and draw you to His side, even when you don't understand.

Every blessing of peace to you.

there's joy in the village

One of the highlights of my week these days is singing with the residents at our local assisted living facility. Sometimes the routine of it can feel like drudgery, but once I get in there and start singing with them, I am always grateful that I came. Music has that kind of power...especially the old hymns.

Serving the forgotten generation brings such joy. I wish you could see them, waking out of their fog to music that they've known for decades. I wish you could hear Miss Vivian crow like a rooster when we sing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm." I wish you could experience the atmosphere shift in the room when the critically ill, Alzheimer's and dementia patients forget their anxieties for a moment and truly enjoy the music. I wish you could hear the grumpy ones speak up suddenly and teach me an old song I've never heard before, and then hear the rest of the group chime in to sing along.

I wish you could feel what I feel, when I look out on these precious people and realize that, though their days seem bleak right now, Jesus' heart burns for them just as much as it does for me. He longs to comfort them and to bring them joy.

Some days, He uses me to help do that. And I'm so grateful.

By the way, I asked Miss Vivian to be my grandma. She said yes. :)

Who is the forgotten generation in your life? Have you considered how you might reach out to them with the love of Jesus?

ashes into beauty.

Yesterday, as I was reading the daily devotional in Jesus Calling, I came across Isaiah 61:3, where it talks about God's power to give us a crown of beauty instead of ashes. I started pondering all the ways He's turned ashes into beauty in my life...

He took a season of deep heartbreak and turned it into hope, healing, and an appreciation of the good and perfect, so that I was no longer tempted by the lesser-than.

He took an occasion of great humiliation and turned it into deep-seeded humility.

He took a tragic circumstance and brought healing, wholeness, and great blessing to my family through it.

Truthfully, some piles of ashes are still waiting to be turned into something glorious...but I know it will happen. God is always faithful.

What about you? What broken thing has God made beautiful in your life? What is the pile of ashes that you're currently waiting for Him to change? Be encouraged--He will never fail you.

Blessings on your weekend!
-S

Worship Wednesday 8-22

Hi! Happy Wednesday! Thanks for stopping by. I honestly have no idea who reads this thing (or if anyone reads it [besides my parents, of course--thanks Mom and Dad!]), but whoever you are, I hope you will take a minute today and focus on Him...or, if you don't know God, maybe you'll stop and think, "Who is this God and why does this girl think He's so great?" And maybe you'll go find out. Anyway...

Today, I want to feature a song that speaks deeply to my heart. It's written by my friend Gil Gatch, who not only is an excellent song writer, but a phenomenal person as well. Gil has been through some incredibly dark seasons in his life, during one of which I had the privilege of walking alongside him. (I say "privilege" because it really is an honor to be able to help support a friend through hard seasons.) I watched as he suffered tremendous heartbreak, confusion, and betrayal...and, amazingly, he chose to worship in response to all of it. The songs he wrote in that season have comforted so many people, and this is one of them.

(By the way, Gil is no longer in that dark season. No, those days are long gone, and he has emerged as a complete victor--in the best and godliest sense of the word.)

I don't have a video of the song, but what I'd like to do is ask you to go purchase it on iTunes. Seriously. It's more than worth the $.99. No, Gil did not ask me to plug his song or church's album. I'm just telling you that this song is incredible, and you will be blessed. Look up "I Won't Move" by Freedom House Church from the "Count You Everything" album, and let me know what you think. Maybe one day I'll get Gil to do a Q&A on the story of this song... :)

Be encouraged today. In every season, God is worthy of our worship.

worship "wednesday" 8-9-12

Today, Thursday is Wednesday. :)

I've been slack about posting lately...why? Because sometimes I have trouble finding a song to sing...or time to sit and be still...or really, the mental capacity to turn OFF my brain, especially as it regards worship music. As a worship leader and music arranger, it's very hard to take the work out of worship. It doesn't matter what song it is--I'm probably considering whether or not the lyrics and chords flow well, how (and if) we would do the song at our church, what key I might do it in, how it would go over, etc. I can be sitting in a worship service, truly engaged, and I hear one mistake from a band member and think, "Uh-oh," and snap right back into music-director mode.

I'm also rather skilled at mental multi-tasking--meaning, I can be actually leading a song, singing all the words, and simultaneously be taking mental notes on 5 different things we need to fix in the arrangement for the next service. It's a little bizarre. It definitely helps me to do my job, but it doesn't help when I'm trying to unplug and worship.

So, for me to have a legit musical worship time on my own is tough! I tend to lean more on journaling with Him as an expression of worship than anything else, but even then, I tend to focus on challenges in my life rather than His greatness. Those conversations are precious, and He downloads so much wisdom and truth to me, but I really do need to spend more time just loving on Him. I'm convicted even as I type...

In these worship posts, I really have been trying to just pick songs that seem to express what I'm experiencing of God through my quiet times, rather than what I'm really worshiping to on my own. There are some songs that really get to me, though, and even if I can't pay attention the entire song, at least I can for about 80% until my work brain kicks in. :) This is one of those...I sat and played this yesterday by myself, just because of how honestly it expresses my heart toward Him. And it's in 6/8, and for some reason, 6/8 songs transcend me to the secret place. Maybe it's the dancing feel about it...God keeps reminding me to dance with Him these days.

So I will sit, and try to be still, and focus on Him for at least 80% of the song... :) Blessings to you.

after the war.

I feel like we’ve just come through a war. Millions of bullets were fired, and casualties ensued. Friendships were broken, good opinions were thoroughly decimated, and confusion reigned as king.

But now that Hurricane Chik-Fil-A has subsided, I can look back and see at least one good thing that came out of the storm. I’m still processing through it, but I know that, at least a little, I have been changed for better.

In reading many different articles and opinions of friends as they sounded off about the whole debate, I have been forced to consider my own stance and ask myself some questions that I hadn’t considered. Namely, what would Jesus have done here? I can envision Him walking into a Chik-Fil-A on any given day last week, and the whole place going silent—protestors and assenters alike. I think He would have looked each person in the eye and examined their hearts, and they probably would have left the building. He may have ordered a sandwich, but only if He were hungry…

I envision a roomful of equal sinners, dropping their stones.

Then I considered what God says about our “right” to freedom of speech, and whether He thinks we should work so hard to defend it.

I know that freedom of speech is actually written into the Constitution of our country, but really, freedom of speech is a God-given right for all men. If He gave us free wills and voices, then apparently we’re supposed to use them.

Think of Paul and Peter. They spoke freely about the Gospel, though the government (legal and religious) opposed them. Then they were arrested and beaten. Then told to never speak openly of Jesus again. Then they went right back out to the courtyard and started preaching again. They didn’t wait for someone to give them free speech—they just spoke freely.

I’m not aware of them leading any kind of boycotts, or rushing to support a local scarf-maker for his views on the Torah. They just preached, like they were called to, and loved the people in their spheres of influence.

They also didn’t use their free speech to bash the government, but rather to just speak Truth. Gospel Truth, essential Truth, life-saving Truth. And they were beaten and arrested again. And released again. And on and on it went, until they both gave their lives for speaking openly for the Gospel. Thousands of men were saved because of the way these guys lived their lives.

So, the demonstration at Chik-Fil-A…was that a good use of the freedom of speech given to all men? Or was it a vain attempt to stand up for something non-essential (for one’s salvation, I mean) that we adhere to in the Christian faith? Does God applaud us for taking such a stand for freedom of speech, or rather grieve that an entire people group felt even more isolated from the true God—the God they’re supposed to see in us?

I’m just wondering if we spend more energy being God’s defense attorneys than His actual hands and feet.

Anyway, that’s all I got. Deep stuff for now…like I said, still working through it. And feeling very grateful for the friends who challenge me on what I’ve blindly accepted so that I may truly examine it to find the truth.

worship wednesday 7-25

Joining Tiffany today as we try to just sit and worship for a minute...I have trouble with that, especially while in front of my computer, so I might excuse myself to a private place in the office for a few minutes (if I can find one).

God brought this song to mind following my quiet time this morning...I love Him so.



He calls us friends if we follow His commands...and at all times, He is the Friend that sticks closer than a brother. So grateful for His unending friendship.

Be blessed, worshipers!

thankful seventeen.

#336 - 364

the music of Bethel Church

Jenn Johnson

vacation nail polish (we're talking BRIGHT hot pink)

watching old and new thriller movies with my husband

vacation food

surprise dates

rain and a screened-in porch

reading a biography and feeling smarter

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

true stories of courage

love that conquers tragedy (bless you, Colorado)

washing machines

bookstores on a quiet Sunday evening

misheard lyrics

arranging music in a new style with great musicians who I also get to call friends

relaxed conversations

easy friendships

teaching truth

weekly coffee dates

the personalities of our house pets

fresh paint

redecorating

sunny mornings

gas station coffee

cheerful gas station attendants

that "I just worked out" feeling

giving people opportunities to use their giftings

Bob's Red Mill unsweetened coconut

the voice of the Lord bringing clarity and comfort


What are you thankful for today?

(currently reading this...)

Worship Wednesday 7-18

A happy worship break for today:



I'm basking in the goodness of God all around me today. Coffee with a new friend, an unexpected Starbucks treat from a darling girl, great conversations about life and redemption with my dad, an opportunity to breathe life into students later, relaxed times with my mind-blowingly wonderful husband, and an extended vacation (see last week's post for info on that--God extended my vaca to a two-weeker, and I have a feeling it'll go for three...). God's heart is so precious. I make life with Him seem harder than it really is...once I let go and relax in Him, things go a lot more smoothly. How about you?

Enjoy Him today, friend.

'cause you've got to have friends...

I’ve struggled with being myself for years. I think it goes back to when I was about ten years old...I got “dumped” by my best friend at the time for another ten-year-old. I was absolutely crushed. What did I do?! I must not have been good enough, I thought.

A couple of similar instances occurred when I was a teenager. Go through that kind of thing enough times, and pretty soon you’re terrified to be yourself, because apparently that isn’t good enough to keep your best friends around.

I don’t feel that way now, but I did for most of my life. There are ways to cope with these feelings—keep people at a distance, only share certain things about yourself, just make people laugh, etc. In my case, I was afraid to share all the aspects of my personality, but I was fine in sharing what I was struggling with in other areas. I haven’t quite wrapped my head around that one yet. To my close friends I was considered (in a good way) an open book, and yet, even with them, I didn’t feel quite safe enough to just be myself. Man, I wanted to…but I was just too afraid of being dropped again.

So, I presented myself as an always-cheerful, funny, bouncy kind of girl and held my arms out to protect myself. I would drop into a conversation, say something to make people laugh, and bound away quickly without getting into an actual conversation. I would steal the show and dance away, with nothing to show for it.

I actually lost a few friendships this way, I believe. And I hate that. Because a show-stealer is really not who I am.

Finally, I had to drop the act. It was hurting people, which is something I never, ever wanted.

It took a few hard conversations with people, more healing conversations with God, lots of reminders from my grace-full husband, and a final “What the heck am I doing?!” realization about myself to get to the point where I’m not trying to impress anyone anymore. I don’t have to entice people to be friends with me, I realized. I don’t always have to make people laugh, and I don’t always have to add to the conversation. I’m equally okay when I’m silly, thoughtful, or quiet.

Now, I am a funny person. There is just no getting away from it—I make people laugh. And I love to do it. It’s one of the qualities God bestowed in me. And I am truly a generally cheerful person. It’s just that I’m not trying to be someone interesting in order to impress my circle of acquaintances anymore, and I’m not so concerned with always having something profound to say. There’s a lot more to actual relationship than that.

And the great thing is, I’m seeing fruit! I’m now in the midst of a few new relationships that are budding, as well as the true friendships that have stayed in my life for years. I have people who are genuinely interested in me, and I in them, and I’m standing back in awe of what God is doing.

My friend Shawn says that if you look at my blog alone, you’ll think I’m a depressed person. While that makes me chuckle, I say that even the funny and cheerful folk have deep thoughts from time to time. Even they have wounds, and even they learn to grow from them… and it’s all ok, because it’s real. If anything, I hope this blog inspires you to be real, too. God is in the reality, taking us from glory to glory…

Much love,
S

Worship Wednesday 7-11

Happy Wednesday!

Here's what's going on in my world regarding worship:
Our worship team is currently brainstorming some new (to us) songs to incorporate into our weekly worship services. There's a lot of great stuff being written these days that I'm really excited about, as well as some older tunes we could spruce up. I'm enjoying the process of listening and thinking. As far as writing our own, we've kind of dropped that process for the time being due to life circumstances, but we'll pick it up again. Someday. I was working on a few original songs a little while back--now that I think of it, I really need to sit down with those again.

Meanwhile, God has me on vacation this week--mental vacation. Meaning, I'm not allowed to try to fix myself. I've been a chronic "fixer-upper" for as long as I can remember, but not on good, constructive household projects. No, I get consumed with seeing my own flaws and trying to process through them as quickly as possible. The result is that I end up beaten to a bloody pulp, because I am absolutely no good at showing myself grace or allowing myself time. I was reaching the breaking point of my sanity early this week due to this nasty pattern...So, God sent me on vacation.

It's actually really grand to not think deeply about too much right now. I'm able to look around and SEE people--astounding. Did you know other people are going through stuff? Did you know great stuff is happening in your own life, too? Amazing!

Sarcasm aside, God knew exactly what I needed, and He's giving it to me, just like I prayed a few weeks ago. I thought I needed a physical vacation, but I really need an internal one. So I sit back in my spiritual Adirondack chair with Him, looking out over the ocean, and I breathe. And He breathes. And it's just easy.

All while I'm at work in my office. Is it possible that this could be a lifestyle? Oh please, God, say yes...even for me, this bleeding fixer-upper.

This song continues to be a statement of the grace of God for me. A reminder to relax and enjoy time with Him...



Be blessed today. Know that you are not alone in your struggle. God knows exactly what you need, and longs to give it to you. Keep running to Him.
Under His grace,
S

Worship Wednesday!

Yes, it's Thursday, but I didn't want to wait any longer! I'm joining this one a little late, but I'm excited to participate in Worship Wednesday and be held accountable to post more regularly!
This comes from some of my blogging friends, beautiful Tiffany and the ever-inspiring Hillary. The idea is to pause for a moment and pay attention to God by posting a worship song that is flooring us recently and share a bit of what the Lord is doing in our lives--basically, to use the internet for the best possible purpose. :)

I heard this song for the first time late last week and had chill bumps the entire time. I cannot wait to introduce it to our congregation, but in the meantime, I want to experience it fully myself:



The whole album is rocking my world. I highly recommend it...

I also decided to join April in a #Scripturedoodle journey through the alphabet. Each day, we take the next consecutive letter for the alphabet and ask God what He thinks of us (starting with that letter). I write three words or phrases I hear, then find the Scriptures that refer to it. It's really been amazing and so, so affirming to be reminded of who God says we are, and to find new passion for His Word. I encourage you to jump in, too! Here's a few of my recent doodles (well, more words than doodling, but still):

All in all, I am loving the Lord and the journey He is taking me through in this season as a new bride. Tremendous freedom, tremendous healing, tremendous discovery...

Happy pursuit of Him!