worship "wednesday" 8-9-12

Today, Thursday is Wednesday. :)

I've been slack about posting lately...why? Because sometimes I have trouble finding a song to sing...or time to sit and be still...or really, the mental capacity to turn OFF my brain, especially as it regards worship music. As a worship leader and music arranger, it's very hard to take the work out of worship. It doesn't matter what song it is--I'm probably considering whether or not the lyrics and chords flow well, how (and if) we would do the song at our church, what key I might do it in, how it would go over, etc. I can be sitting in a worship service, truly engaged, and I hear one mistake from a band member and think, "Uh-oh," and snap right back into music-director mode.

I'm also rather skilled at mental multi-tasking--meaning, I can be actually leading a song, singing all the words, and simultaneously be taking mental notes on 5 different things we need to fix in the arrangement for the next service. It's a little bizarre. It definitely helps me to do my job, but it doesn't help when I'm trying to unplug and worship.

So, for me to have a legit musical worship time on my own is tough! I tend to lean more on journaling with Him as an expression of worship than anything else, but even then, I tend to focus on challenges in my life rather than His greatness. Those conversations are precious, and He downloads so much wisdom and truth to me, but I really do need to spend more time just loving on Him. I'm convicted even as I type...

In these worship posts, I really have been trying to just pick songs that seem to express what I'm experiencing of God through my quiet times, rather than what I'm really worshiping to on my own. There are some songs that really get to me, though, and even if I can't pay attention the entire song, at least I can for about 80% until my work brain kicks in. :) This is one of those...I sat and played this yesterday by myself, just because of how honestly it expresses my heart toward Him. And it's in 6/8, and for some reason, 6/8 songs transcend me to the secret place. Maybe it's the dancing feel about it...God keeps reminding me to dance with Him these days.

So I will sit, and try to be still, and focus on Him for at least 80% of the song... :) Blessings to you.