take up your cross

I had a mental picture during Every Tuesday a while back, and I had forgotten about it until tonight when I was spending time with my good friends Gil and Amy. I love having friends that you can talk about this kind of stuff with, by the way. I highly recommend it...

Anyway, I think Nate was singing "Til I See You" at the time...and I had my eyes closed, and suddenly I had this picture:

I was standing in Jerusalem on the road to Calvary, and in front of me was Jesus, carrying His cross. And all around there were people mashed in, watching and jeering as the Savior carried His cross to the place of His death. And suddenly I realized that I had a cross on my back and I was following Him up to Calvary. From my viewpoint, it was just me and Jesus walking this road.

My cross was heavy and it hurt, and suddenly I thought, "I don't like this. I'm not comfortable. I don't want to carry this cross anymore."

And I veered off to the side of the road with all the jeering people and let the cross fall off my back.

Then I looked back at Jesus, and He hadn't stopped for me. He hadn't even really seen me leave the road, but I knew He knew. And He kept on going...

And then I looked down the road in the other direction and saw something that I hope I never forget. Following Jesus, as far as the eye could see, were all the true believers--millions and millions--and they all carried crosses on their backs. And as I stood at the side of the road, my back already feeling better because of the weight loss, my heart wrenched as I realized that all of my brothers and sisters were passing me by, following our Savior. And I was left standing on the side...all because I had been uncomfortable carrying my own cross.

And when it came to choosing between a bleeding back or being apart from Jesus, there was no other choice to make. I picked my cross back up, fell in line with the rest of the chosen priesthood, and fixed my eyes on the form of my Messiah trudging slowly up the hill, carrying a cross that would offer salvation to the mocking crowds all around Him. Such peace, such strength, such faithfulness and sacrifice were worth following, even in great pain...so I followed, and I never looked back.