Scotland Yikes

I know, clever title, huh?? I amaze even myself sometimes.

Anyway, here's another one for the kids…

Before I get started, let me give you the cast of main characters to help you follow along with the story. They are:

Jeanne (my boss)
Martin (my other boss, Jeanne’s brother)
Peter—Jeanne and Martin’s cousin
Ruthie—Peter’s wife
Petey—Ruthie’s brother, Peter’s brother-in-law

So, my two bosses are from Scotland, and one day—the day before Thanksgiving, to be exact—Martin told me that he had the perfect guy for me, but he was only going to be in the country for one more day. “Oh, you’ll love Petey. He sings beautifully and writes songs…but he goes back to Scotland tomorrow, so we’ll have to move quickly.” And I said, “uh-huh,” laughing at the joke and thinking this was all very nice, but oh well, Petey’s leaving the country tomorrow.

Well, a few minutes later Martin brings the subject up again, saying to me, “Now, how can I get you two to meet?” Again, fairly sure he was joking, I said, “Well, I’ll be at Atlanta Bread Company at 12:15.” Well, Martin gets on the phone with his cousin Peter and says, “the lady in question will be at Atlanta Bread Company at 12:15…”

He’s kidding, right?

Peter and Ruthie end up coming to the office shortly before I leave, The meeting is pleasant but a wee bit awkward, because I wasn’t sure what they were thinking. Not hearing anything more about Martin getting his cousin’s brother-in-law to ABC, I left and felt relieved that maybe it really was a joke.

It wasn’t.

20 minutes later, I’m sitting at ABC with my mother, and in walks Jeanne’s best friend Jodi. As soon as I saw her, she waved at me as if she had expected to see me, and I knew I was in trouble. Soon, Jeanne arrived with her parents, who were also visiting. Then Martin, his wife Sarah and their three kids. Then Peter, Ruthie, and Ruthie’s other two siblings (excluding Petey).

Jeanne walked over to our table and, after making some quick, pleasant conversation with my mom, said to me, “Now, what you’re going to do is refill your soda and come plant yourself over there by me.”

Yes ma’am.

And I tell you, friends, all of Scotland was reuniting on the other side of Atlanta Bread Company. The Chalks took over a fourth of the restaurant. It was oh so awkward, and that’s before the man in question had even arrived!

Poor Petey soon walked in with Jeanne’s two daughters (which brought the number of folks attending this blind date to about 18), and Sarah waited about ten seconds before practically shouting, “PETEY! I’D LIKE YOU TO MEET SARAH!”

I didn’t even look up. It seriously could not have been more awkward, and I almost burst out laughing when we were finally forced to shake hands. As soon as we had done so,
I looked over at Martin who was giving me the thumbs-up, thumbs-down signal to see what I thought of him. There was no where for Petey to sit by me (Jeanne’s planning could only go so far, I guess), so he sat at the other end of the room and I chatted it up with 2-year-old Iona.

Another 20 minutes goes by, and someone says, “Where’s Petey?”

Petey was gone. I think he darted out during some of the routine confusion and went shopping or something. I felt really bad for the guy—how awkward! I mean, it was awkward for me, too, but these people weren’t my family. I wasn’t going to have to answer many embarrassing questions later on. I felt more like a spectator than a participant, anyway.

So, even though I didn't get a husband out of it, I was thoroughly entertained by the whole ordeal. Hope you were too. :)