I think I love you, pt. 2

This is a post I started to write last month but never posted...until now.


"You will recall the post I wrote after I returned from Charlotte. I was so impressed with these young people who had turned away from what was familiar in order to be a light to unfamiliar people. And to be honest, I was a bit jealous. I longed for that passion--not only in my own life, but to see it in the people around me. I felt like I had gotten so bogged down with routine that I had forgotten what it was all about...and I thought others around me had forgotten, too. "Where are the warriors?" I wondered. For a second, I thought I needed to pick up and move to Charlotte, where the fire seemed to be blazing.

And then this weekend, God opened my eyes...How arrogant I was to think like that!

Two nights ago, my lead guitarist called me and asked if there was anything on my mind that he could pray for. He had apparently had an impression that something was burdening me for a few weeks and had just mustered up the courage to ask me about it. I think he got that sense right when I got back from Charlotte...

Then, last night, I went to a Summerville leadership meeting where we said goodbye to two very instrumental people in our church. And as we sang "Holy is the Lord" together as a family, I looked around and suddenly I saw them. Warriors. People I've been working with for over a year...faithful followers of Jesus. How could I have not seen? I don't need to go to Charlotte to be surrounded by giants of the faith--I have the privelege of working with a ton of them in Summerville!
Take my guitar player Joe--a prayer warrior on my own worship team! And not only him, but my whole team--Gale, Justin, Rick (my big brothers), Krista, Maewin, Bo and Glenda, Wayno...not only my band, but my family.
Phil and Sherry--my 2nd parents. They truly "love others intensely" (1. Peter 1:22), including myself. They gave up what was comfortable and are living every day on faith that God has called them to lead this church.
Dan and Mariann--Who could be more fun to work with? These two support Phil and Sherry in absolutely everything, and they provide an example for the rest of the church to follow.
Neil, Connie, Molly, Wilt, Skip, Mark, Dad, and the rest of the prayer team--talk about "forcefully advancing the Kingdom"! They constantly allow themselves to be used by God to cover the whole place, including me and the band, in prayer. They are ready in season and out to pray for whatever the need, and they are always able to share the truth with me when I am bombarded by confusion.
So many others on the Children's Ministry team, the Tech team (where would we be without them??), Student Ministry...and many more.

All of these people gave up the comfortable and the familiar--and continue to do so each day--for the sake of God's Kingdom. Sure, it's "home" to me, but we are constantly moving forward into new territory!
I am thankful, so thankful, to be surrounded by these giants of the faith...and I know that, for now, this is exactly where I belong."

Great song

This is a song by Sara Groves that I heard again recently, and I have a feeling many of you will identify with it...

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend
It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

If it comes too quick I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Favorite songs

My blogs have been very deep lately (at least, deep for me), so I decided it's time to lighten things up with a little get-to-know-Sarah info.

Here are some of my favorite songs, and at this point i will stop capitalizing letters because i type faster that way.

stevie wonder
ribbon in the sky
sir duke
i wish

billy joel
the stranger
don't ask me why (i want this as my ringtone--can someone help me figure this out?)
movin' out
the entertainer

jump (little children)
between the dim and the dark
opium
easter parade (forgive the curse word)
quiet
say goodnight
mother's eyes (ingenious--i think they change chords about 3,000 times)
pigeon
mexico

bon jovi
shot through the heart
everyday
livin' on a prayer (tommy and gina #1)
it's my life (tommy and gina #2)

fleming and john
i'm so small
i'm not afraid
letters in my head
comfortable
radiate

paul simon
you can call me al
diamonds on the soles
st. judy's comet
train in the distance
hearts and bones
me and julio

frank sinatra
i get a kick out of you
fly me to the moon
when i was 17
luck be a lady
same ol' saturday night

stevie nicks
edge of seventeen

jamiroquai
canned heat
cosmic girl

aretha franklin
you're no good, heartbreaker
chain of fools
think

van morrison
brown-eyed girl (gets me dancing every time)

david crowder
turkish delight
rescue is coming

caedmon's call
the only one
emptiest day
manner or the means
piece of glass
fall to pieces
faith my eyes
what you want
swing your robe

switchfoot
only hope--this is my life song
(and pretty much everything else)

randy newman
a bug's life suite

tchaikovsky
anything, really

chopin
romance larghetto for piano and strings--this narrates much of my life

well, those are just a sampling. i like lots of things...do any of these match your style?

Joining hands across America...

I realized something about myself yesterday. I have a passion for unity.

Does that sound hokey? Here's what I mean. One of my aspirations in life is to one day lead at a Passion (or something of the like) conference (and maybe to even speak at at breakout session, but that's besides the point). I've been to the Thirsty conference twice, and they were AMAZING because you're in a room of, I don't know, 2 thousand people who all have the same thing on their minds---worshipping the one true God. So you've got 2 thousand people unified in thought, worshipping in spirit and in truth at the same time. There's nothing like it. This is what heaven will be!

When I'm leading a usual service on a Sunday morning and I can hear all the voices in unison to the extent that I don't even need to be on the microphone leading them anymore, that is the utmost fulfillment of my job. These people, from so many different walks of life, have finally come together for one purpose...this doesn't happen every week, unfortunately, because people have distractions and mixed-up priorities and, well, people are just human...but I have a passion to see it happen every week.

So when we go out into the world like Jesus told us, what is it for? It's to bring others to a spirit of unity with the Body of Christ, right? We want them to know God and to worship Him. In that sense, beyond all denominations and factions and other trivial details, we MUST be unified. Because this is what it will be in heaven...complete unity.

You know, the more you say "unity", the weirder it sounds. Just a thought.

Oh, it works all right.

Lately I've been struggling a little bit with believing that prayer really works. To some of you, that will sound insane. Let me try to clarify...well, actually, I might not be able to. Just know that I was struggling, especially with the "Ask anything in My name and it will be given you"...

And then, tonight, God answered two prayers that I've prayed in the past two days within about an hour. It was amazing. And He answered them in the exact way I had prayed!

And here's something I realized. A lot of times, I don't have any idea what to pray. Some situations are just too huge for me to wrap my brain around. And that's when you let God lead your prayer. Jesus said, "Ask anything in My name..." This was the case with these two requests. And so in both instances I prayed that God would work His will, but then I prayed for specific things to happen if they were in His will...and they did! Exactly as I prayed them!

I know this isn't a very deep blog. I just left very encouraged about prayer and how great God is and that He's really listening and really speaking and you can really hear Him...you know what I mean.

Be encouraged. Pray, pray, pray--even if it's just an act of obedience. God calls us to pray, even when we don't understand how it works. So do it...be faithful--you know He certainly will be!

I'm going to bed now.

Scotland Yikes

I know, clever title, huh?? I amaze even myself sometimes.

Anyway, here's another one for the kids…

Before I get started, let me give you the cast of main characters to help you follow along with the story. They are:

Jeanne (my boss)
Martin (my other boss, Jeanne’s brother)
Peter—Jeanne and Martin’s cousin
Ruthie—Peter’s wife
Petey—Ruthie’s brother, Peter’s brother-in-law

So, my two bosses are from Scotland, and one day—the day before Thanksgiving, to be exact—Martin told me that he had the perfect guy for me, but he was only going to be in the country for one more day. “Oh, you’ll love Petey. He sings beautifully and writes songs…but he goes back to Scotland tomorrow, so we’ll have to move quickly.” And I said, “uh-huh,” laughing at the joke and thinking this was all very nice, but oh well, Petey’s leaving the country tomorrow.

Well, a few minutes later Martin brings the subject up again, saying to me, “Now, how can I get you two to meet?” Again, fairly sure he was joking, I said, “Well, I’ll be at Atlanta Bread Company at 12:15.” Well, Martin gets on the phone with his cousin Peter and says, “the lady in question will be at Atlanta Bread Company at 12:15…”

He’s kidding, right?

Peter and Ruthie end up coming to the office shortly before I leave, The meeting is pleasant but a wee bit awkward, because I wasn’t sure what they were thinking. Not hearing anything more about Martin getting his cousin’s brother-in-law to ABC, I left and felt relieved that maybe it really was a joke.

It wasn’t.

20 minutes later, I’m sitting at ABC with my mother, and in walks Jeanne’s best friend Jodi. As soon as I saw her, she waved at me as if she had expected to see me, and I knew I was in trouble. Soon, Jeanne arrived with her parents, who were also visiting. Then Martin, his wife Sarah and their three kids. Then Peter, Ruthie, and Ruthie’s other two siblings (excluding Petey).

Jeanne walked over to our table and, after making some quick, pleasant conversation with my mom, said to me, “Now, what you’re going to do is refill your soda and come plant yourself over there by me.”

Yes ma’am.

And I tell you, friends, all of Scotland was reuniting on the other side of Atlanta Bread Company. The Chalks took over a fourth of the restaurant. It was oh so awkward, and that’s before the man in question had even arrived!

Poor Petey soon walked in with Jeanne’s two daughters (which brought the number of folks attending this blind date to about 18), and Sarah waited about ten seconds before practically shouting, “PETEY! I’D LIKE YOU TO MEET SARAH!”

I didn’t even look up. It seriously could not have been more awkward, and I almost burst out laughing when we were finally forced to shake hands. As soon as we had done so,
I looked over at Martin who was giving me the thumbs-up, thumbs-down signal to see what I thought of him. There was no where for Petey to sit by me (Jeanne’s planning could only go so far, I guess), so he sat at the other end of the room and I chatted it up with 2-year-old Iona.

Another 20 minutes goes by, and someone says, “Where’s Petey?”

Petey was gone. I think he darted out during some of the routine confusion and went shopping or something. I felt really bad for the guy—how awkward! I mean, it was awkward for me, too, but these people weren’t my family. I wasn’t going to have to answer many embarrassing questions later on. I felt more like a spectator than a participant, anyway.

So, even though I didn't get a husband out of it, I was thoroughly entertained by the whole ordeal. Hope you were too. :)

Rescue

This song just popped in my head recently (I didn't write it--it's one we used to do a while back), and it expresses what I've been feeling lately. Kind of goes along with that picture I had recently as well.

"Rescue"

You are the source of life

I can't be left behind

No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need You, Jesus,

To come to my rescue

Where else can I go?

There's no other name by

Which I am saved

Capture me with grace

I will follow You

This world has nothing for me

I will follow You

I wish I had written that!

I was thinking about that passage of Scripture (it's in the Gospels somewhere) where Jesus asks His disciples if they are going to leave Him. And Peter says, "Lord, where else can we go?"

Think about that for a minute. Where else can you go? Can you just walk away from God? Can you even contemplate what that would mean? Think about it--there's really no where else to go! I can't live apart from Him. He is my breath, my source of life, my hope. And without hope, there is no life.

This may seem super-spiritual, and I am certainly not this way most of the time, but I've been feeling desperate lately. Desperate to get back to the roots of why I am doing this, why I am singing every week, why I am alive. I get so bogged down with the technicalities of service procedure, song flow, and business that I get very tired and forget my passion. It makes me weak, sad, feeling like maybe I'm losing it. And I don't want to lose it. I just have to remember why I'm doing this...why we're singing these songs. Why I have to attend rehearsals and go to meeting after meeting...I have to remember that the business side is not, and cannot ever be, the substance of my calling. I have to get back to my First Love.

Isn't it awful how easy it is to forget your First Love? But man, when you remember...

So, Jesus, I need You to come to my rescue. Remind me of why I am alive----You.

I think I love you...

This past weekend, I got a chance to visit my friends in Charlotte and be a part of the third Mosaic service ever. Charlotte’s a great city…I like it more and more each time I see it. But the main reason I’m growing so fond of it is because of a certain group of people…

Let me tell you something, kids. There is a revolution coming, and it’s being started by a group of twenty-somethings in a new city. These people have changed careers, left home and given up everything familiar in order to let the people of Charlotte know that they are loved. What more noble cause is there?

Sure, there are going to be nay-sayers. There already are. There will always be people who are offended with their approach and desire to be relevant. But honestly…who cares?

While I was visiting, I had the privilege of sitting in on a prayer meeting of the core team. I sat with them through fellowship, worship and prayer, and I was emotionally overcome at the hearts of these precious people. God has pulled together a group of beautiful, talented, passionate young people to reach a generation in a way that nobody has done before. And not only that, but He has burdened each of these hearts with a passion for the lost. That is what moved me beyond words—that each of these warriors, who gave up so much and moved beyond the comfortable, were in tears for those who currently walk in darkness.

In the midst of such faith, I also felt that passion stir within me…the passion that has long lay dormant. How could I have forgotten what it’s all about? I think I have become complacent with the big-church thing…satisfied with the large numbers, forgetting how we are supposed to grow. And why should we grow? So we’ll be in more magazines? So we’ll gain national attention? Aack!

We should grow because I finally get with the program and start spending more time with my friends who are lost—the people God has granted me favor with. We should grow because I get the courage to walk up to the guy at Starbucks that always fixes my coffee and see what he’s doing on Sunday morning or Tuesday night.

There are some members of the Mosaic team that look around and see not just random people in the mall but souls who are desperately searching for hope. And this is why they moved. This is why they show up every Sunday at 7am. This is why they meet and meet and meet…

This is why we’re here. This is why we do what we do.

God, let me not forget what I have seen and felt.
This is why.

take up your cross

I had a mental picture during Every Tuesday a while back, and I had forgotten about it until tonight when I was spending time with my good friends Gil and Amy. I love having friends that you can talk about this kind of stuff with, by the way. I highly recommend it...

Anyway, I think Nate was singing "Til I See You" at the time...and I had my eyes closed, and suddenly I had this picture:

I was standing in Jerusalem on the road to Calvary, and in front of me was Jesus, carrying His cross. And all around there were people mashed in, watching and jeering as the Savior carried His cross to the place of His death. And suddenly I realized that I had a cross on my back and I was following Him up to Calvary. From my viewpoint, it was just me and Jesus walking this road.

My cross was heavy and it hurt, and suddenly I thought, "I don't like this. I'm not comfortable. I don't want to carry this cross anymore."

And I veered off to the side of the road with all the jeering people and let the cross fall off my back.

Then I looked back at Jesus, and He hadn't stopped for me. He hadn't even really seen me leave the road, but I knew He knew. And He kept on going...

And then I looked down the road in the other direction and saw something that I hope I never forget. Following Jesus, as far as the eye could see, were all the true believers--millions and millions--and they all carried crosses on their backs. And as I stood at the side of the road, my back already feeling better because of the weight loss, my heart wrenched as I realized that all of my brothers and sisters were passing me by, following our Savior. And I was left standing on the side...all because I had been uncomfortable carrying my own cross.

And when it came to choosing between a bleeding back or being apart from Jesus, there was no other choice to make. I picked my cross back up, fell in line with the rest of the chosen priesthood, and fixed my eyes on the form of my Messiah trudging slowly up the hill, carrying a cross that would offer salvation to the mocking crowds all around Him. Such peace, such strength, such faithfulness and sacrifice were worth following, even in great pain...so I followed, and I never looked back.