love story.

We met at church, apparently. I don’t remember it clearly like he does, probably because I was about to go on stage to lead worship. He was the older brother of my friend Josh. I said something like, “Ok, nice to meet you, see you later.”

Months later, at a New Year’s Eve party, I saw this handsome blonde guy across the field and thought, “Oh my goodness, who is that?” I wanted to learn everything about him, so I started asking people in our circle of friends. He was a baseball player, he worked at a staffing company, he attended the young adult service I went to occasionally, he might be there Tuesday night. “Then,” I thought, “I will be there Tuesday night.”

That is when my two-year crazy crush began. I was not the type of girl for passing, passive crushes. Oh no, I was all in. I was the pursuer. I went to church and found him there. I went to his parents’ house and found him there. I even stopped by his workplace with his favorite soda and candy bar one day. I was about as obvious as a girl can be without outright proposing. And yet…nothing.

Now, despite what one might think, it wasn’t all crazy all the time. We truly became good friends during that period…I was just hoping we would become more than that. For two years. So were other people. I got the “Why don’t you and Travis…?” question quite a bit, and all I could do was shrug. I didn’t know why he wasn’t interested; he just wasn’t.

But I kept trying…for two years. And finally, one night, I had a heart change. For years, and several other messed-up relationships, I had been the pursuer. I had tried to make things happen, and they were never the right thing. “Pursuer” just wasn’t the role I was supposed to play. If there’s one thing God has taught me over and over in my life, it’s “Don’t try to make things happen,” and this was one of those lessons.

I remember it so clearly. I was driving home after hanging out with Travis and a couple of other people, and I prayed, “God, if You want me and Travis to be together, he has to initiate this. I am not going to ask him out, and I’m not going to make this happen. He has got to be the one to make that change in our friendship. I’m putting it in Your hands now.”

And I truly did. I stopped pursuing Travis. I kept up my friendship with him, naturally, but I didn’t pine for anything more. I moved on.

Then, three years later…

I started getting text messages from Travis. A lot of text messages. Just seeing how my day was going, just joking around, just seeing if I wanted to hang out…it was very strange to me. The man that doesn’t flirt appeared to be flirting—and I liked it. I hadn’t been thinking of Travis as an option for years, but now, he was downright wooing me.

It got to the point that I had butterflies in my stomach when I saw him smiling at me at church. I got so nervous I had to leave the room to compose myself.

That night, he asked me out. He had realized he loved me a few months earlier, and waited to see how I would respond to his advances. He pursued the heck out of me. He wooed me. He won me.

Finally…finally…I got it right. I waited. I was pursued. And now I sit here typing, looking at the wedding bands on my left ring finger, and I marvel at the grace and goodness of God. Travis really is and always was the man I dreamed about. He is goodness itself, a strong man of integrity, a man who does what he says he will do. He still has to remind me to sit back and rest, to not initiate, to receive grace, and I am so grateful that he does it so patiently. Travis, my beloved, you were more than worth the cost of surrender.

Love you, baby.
-S