Pop Quiz

Whimsical title, huh?

I have been going along in life pretty steadily. Working hard, getting rundown every now and then, but things are pretty even keel. I sing songs about trusting God, and I mean them. "Sure! I trust You! How could I not? Things are great!"

And then...pop quiz.

It's cliche to say it's easy to trust God when everything's going well. I know this. But sometimes cliches have good reason for being popular sayings. It IS easy to trust God when all is quiet--or rather, it feels easy because we think we're in control. Things are going smoothly. I can plan my days and feel pretty confident that everything will work out the way I think they should. Is God in control in those times? Yes. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I think I kind of take over. "Oh okay, the water's pretty steady...I think I can steer now, God." It's when the storm suddenly comes and you realize you haven't the foggiest idea how to handle a boat in a storm that things get chaotic. But you've GOT to stay in control, or else you'll capsize! So you run around frantically, trying to keep the ship moving along while scooping the water out so you won't sink...that's a lot to do if you're just one person.

Maybe I shouldn't try to use metaphors regarding boats. I obviously know nothing about them. But I guess that's the point. We're surprised by the storm, and we realize that we can't control this thing that we actually know nothing about, but we worry and wear ourselves out trying to fix it. Fix the storm? That's pretty much impossible. But we try. Hold the boat together. Keep the water out. Steer the ship. And we get so tired that we let go of everything, the boat capsizes, and we start to drown. Too tired to swim. Too fed up with trying to save everything and everybody. What's the use? The storm's too strong.

We know that God's voice is over the waters (visit the Psalm 29 post for reference). So do we trust God to calm these waters? Do we trust Him to steer this boat, in still and rough waters? Can we trust Him enough to let go of the wheel and just work on staying afloat? Sometimes that's all you can do--stay afloat. Keep from drowning. Keep from sinking in the rough and dirty waters of unforgiveness, anxiety, fear. Stay afloat.

I received some news yesterday that is threatening to pull me back into those waters. I have spent too much time spluttering and floundering about in that mess over the last few years, and I don't want to jump back in. How do I stay afloat?

Also, how do I live out what I sing? Every week, I tell people to put ALL their trust in God; to surrender EVERY PART of themselves to the Creator Who is more than able to carry them through anything--am I living it out myself? When the pop quiz comes in my own life, will those same people find me a hypocrite? What will they see when the spotlight is turned off, when I'm just standing in line waiting for a salad, when I'm sitting at my desk? Will they be inspired or disappointed? How will I respond to the storms? Will I live out what I sing?

People just have to understand that everybody goes through stuff. Everybody grieves. Everybody reacts in one way or another to painful situations...worship leaders aren't any different.

Very dramatic. Not at all whimsical. And awful metaphors. But I'm staying afloat...no matter what it takes.