brutus.

I have an "Everyday Shakespeare" pull-a-page calendar on my desk.

Don't judge me.

This week, there was a quote from Julius Caesar that really struck me. Ligarius is talking to Brutus and says,
"Set on your foot,
And with a heart new-fired I follow you,
To do I know not what. But it sufficeth
That Brutus leads me on."

It got me thinking...

As a leader, it is really quite something to hear a person of sound mind say that they'll follow you anywhere. What a declaration of trust! And while we should be honored by the sentiment, we as leaders have to continually remember (and admit) that we're human. If I'm totally honest, following me blindly probably isn't the best idea. There's a good chance I'm going to lead people right into stupid things sometimes if they aren't careful to keep me in check.

Really, the only person we should follow that "blindly" is Jesus.

It reminded me of Barak and Deborah in Judges 4...Deborah tells Barak that he should go fight in a certain battle because God is going to give him victory. But Barak basically says, "Uh, yeah, that's great, but if you're not going, I'm not going either." He trusted Deborah's leadership and relationship with God more than his own at that point, when God had specifically called Barak! And because of his preference to follow Deborah rather than God, he forfeited getting the victory in the battle.

At no point do I want my team to follow me above following Jesus. While I pray that I will always lead in such a way that they'll never have to choose between me and God, you never know. As I said, I'm human. The best I can do is equip them to follow God on their own, no matter what. And I think that should be the desire of our hearts as leaders--that our followers may say to God (rather than just us): "Set on your foot, and with a heart new-fired I follow You, to do I know not what. But it sufficeth that Jesus leads me on..."

release.

I have been pondering lately about our inherent struggle with the issue of forgiveness when we've been wronged. There are a myriad of excuses we can use to try exempt ourselves from this command of God, but I think one of the most deceptive ones is, "I'm just waiting for that person to apologize."

And here's what I know about that.

Forgiveness has nothing to do with an apology.

I think we want apologies because they make us feel like we could forgive more easily. But as we can’t control the other person’s heart or actions, we can’t guarantee that we’ll ever receive an acknowledgement of the wrong that’s been done. And if we wait to feel like forgiving, we will probably never obey.

Examples: Jesus forgave the men who crucified Him while they were committing the act. On a more personal level, Romans 5:8 says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”(emphasis mine). He forgave us before we even thought to ask for it.

So, the idea of waiting for someone to apologize before we choose to forgive is bogus. The person you’re thinking of may never fully realize the extent of the damage they’ve done. They simply may never apologize. But that does not release you from your responsibility to forgive.

Now, if forgiveness has nothing to do with an apology, then that means...

Healing has nothing to do with an apology.

Consider it on a practical level for a minute. Let’s say the person does apologize. Will that undo what’s been done? Will that erase the pain you’ve suffered, or the consequences of their actions? While it may make it easier for you to feel like forgiving, it does not undo the damage.

The healing is in the forgiveness, not in the apology.

Personal story…I experienced something in college that left me broken-hearted, confused, and angry. I had been extremely hurt by someone, and he was not owning up to it.

That began a very long process of forgiveness and healing that was completely separate from guy involved. God had to take me through a journey of releasing the pain through totally forgiving the act, in order that I might receive His healing. No apology could fix this. No amount of repentance could undo the damage. I had no inherent ability to heal myself. This was God’s work alone, and it took a long time for me to be willing to accept that.

However, once I did truly forgive him (and I clearly remember that moment), the freedom came. Again, this had nothing to do with the guy involved. This was solely me and God working things out, and it took years before all the pieces were put back together.

Years later, after a random series of events, I received the apology I had desired so long ago. And instead of it being something I needed for closure, it actually came as more of a gift from God to bless an already healed heart.

God is capable of restoring the most broken of hearts. He alone is the One with the balm. No words can justify, no human acknowledgement can heal. It's Him, and Him alone, and He is able.

Forgive the person. I know for certain that God will take care of everything else.

guest.

I guest-wrote on my friend Shawn Wood's blog a while back...thought I should add it here, too.

"Give ME Back MY Jeans and Be a Man: A Single Girl's Perspective.

Stop making excuses and be honest.

Lately, I’ve noticed a disheartening lack of willingness to be honest about what’s really going on in a relationship. I see it when a guy’s got a serious problem and needs help, but is unwilling to ask for it. I see it when a guy suddenly changes his behavior toward his friends because of an offense and then act as if nothing odd has happened. I see it when a guy really wants to break up with his girlfriend, but “doesn’t want to hurt her.”

(Disclaimer: I am very well aware that this happens in both guys and girls, but as Shawn asked me to write this about guys, you males will receive the brunt of what I have to say. Sorry.)
Here’s the thing. The problem is not that you have an issue, or that you want to break up, or that you’re hurt by something someone said. The problem is that you’re not owning up to it. And so it seems that you either become passive-aggressive, or you start making excuses.

The truth is, both of these options will potentially destroy the relationship you’re trying to preserve.

By acting or speaking indirectly in order to avoid conflict, you actually create it. By avoiding an honest conversation that may cause pain, you actually increase the pain we end up dealing with when the truth finally comes out…and it will come out. And we girls can get very confused when things change suddenly with no explanation. Don’t leave us to “fill in the blanks” on our own; that never goes well.

Just tell us what’s up—most of us can handle it, especially if we’re walking with the Lord. You might be surprised at how many of us are willing to work through conflict in order to save a friendship.

And I just need to get this off my chest…If you are in a dating relationship that you want to get out of, do not –I repeat, DO NOT—use God as an excuse. Perhaps you’ve heard the line, “I just need to focus on God for a while.” News flash—God is supposed to be the center of your life ALL THE TIME. Focusing on Him is not a seasonal thing; it’s a lifestyle. And it’s not what you really mean, anyway. Saying that you need space because you “want to focus on God” is just a really nice way of saying, “I want to break up with you, but I don’t want to own up to it. And maybe, if I use God as an excuse, I won’t have to handle the consequences of hurting you.”

You’re probably wondering if I’ve heard this line in past dating experiences. Yes, I have. And it nearly destroyed my desire to love again. But I’m not going to lie—I’ve also used it myself. And it’s total bunk.

How about we just leave God out of it?

Don’t misunderstand me—I am a devoted follower of Christ. I adore Him. I want to go wherever He leads and do as He guides. However, I am not a robot. The decisions I make are my own, and I must be willing to accept the consequences of those decisions, good or bad. Saying “God told me to” is just an attempt to avoid those consequences.

(And think about how that could come across to the other person, by the way. It could very possibly lead to them thinking, “I’m in love with this person, but God obviously doesn’t want them to be with me…God must be against me.” Oh, the problems therein…)

Guys, if you’ve decided you don’t want to continue dating the girl you’re with, own up to it. Don’t get shifty and start avoiding her. Don’t be shady and make excuses. Be honest. She may hate you for a minute, but she’ll appreciate you later for not leading her on.

The point is this: Guys, you honor us by telling us the truth in love – even if we don’t act “honored” at first. You show more value and respect for us and for the relationship by addressing the issues squarely than by avoiding them to “save” us from hurting.

So step up. Be a leader of integrity in the relationship—be it friendship or other.

Be honest. Be a man."

rust.

I have a shower caddy in my bathroom. It’s pretty and silver and shiny…at least, it was. Pretty soon after I bought it, the thing began to rust. (This is normal for me, by the way—I’m not sure I’ve ever had a shower caddy that didn’t deconstruct rather quickly. And I call that a fundamental flaw.) I noticed it right away. I realized I needed to take my Herbal Essences shampoo and St. Ives body wash off of the top rack, go buy an S.O.S. pad, and do a little scrubbing. That’s all—an hour of my time—and the rust would be gone.

But I could think of at least 20 other things I’d rather do in that hour. So I did one of those things instead. And not surprisingly, the rust got worse and worse. Today, I noticed that about a third of the bottom rack is covered in orange. It’s happened so gradually that I almost got used to it looking that way. But pretty soon, if I don’t take care of it, I’ll have to throw it away and get a new one. Again.

It actually reminded me of some situations in my life where I’ve noticed some rust…a growing tendency to procrastinate, an aversion of exercise, a sudden “weirdness” in a close relationship. And when I notice the “rust,” I have a choice: I can either take an S.O.S. pad and scrub the thing (change my attitude or confront the relational problem) or I can ignore it and just stand back as the situation deteriorates.

If I choose the latter, however, the thing will soon become like my rusted-out, useless shower caddy, which is more likely to cause tetanus than bring any good to the world.

I wonder if I’m the only one…

Sometimes I look around and I see relational carnage—people leaving jobs because of friendships gone sour, breakups over conflict that was never resolved, people just not talking to each other…and they don’t even know why…and I wonder: if the root issue had been addressed early on, in honesty and love, as soon as the rust began to grow, could the relationship have been saved?

If I had dealt with my shower caddy early on, it could still be usable now. Are we willing to deal with the rust in our lives as soon as it appears? Our relationships depend on it...

girls.

Something stood out to me when I listened to Geoff’s message this past weekend. When he said that women need to feel loved, beautiful, valuable and safe, my first thought was, “Are the men treating us like that?” But the next (and more persistent) thought was, “Do I treat the women in my life like that?”

Sometimes we cast the entire responsibility onto men for making sure we’re being treated the right way. But I see just as much damage coming from women toward other women as I do from men! You ladies know what I’m talking about. We get competitive and catty. We get jealous and judgmental. We gossip and tear down, and if we’re on the receiving end of such treatment, we walk away feeling unloved, ugly, unvalued, and in danger of receiving even more pain from each other. I think this is a major reason a lot of us avoid women-oriented groups or events...

(By the way, if you have trouble thinking of an example of this in your life, just try to remember what it was like to be a girl in the 7th grade—that ought to bring up a shudder-worthy mental picture. We tend to start early, don’t we?)

What I realized is that I, too, have the responsibility to treat the women in my life as loved, beautiful, valuable and safe—no matter who they are. And in terms of godly character, we can’t expect the men to do what we’re not doing ourselves. Let’s step up and be the women God created us to be…and let’s start with how we treat each other.

delight.

There are a few sounds I delight in lately...

• my favorite two-year-old clapping his hands and saying, "Yay Sarah!" when the band finishes the service
• my band doing an impromptu jam - just because they can
• this baby's laugh
• the intro of AKUS' Choctaw Hayride...oh yeah.
• my phone beeping with a new text message
• calling a loved one who's suffered from unemployment for almost a year and finally hearing them say, "I can't talk right now - I'm still at work."

risky.

Loving a person just the way they are, that’s no small thing
Takes some time to see things through
Sometimes things change, sometimes we’re waiting
We need grace either way...
Hold onto me, and I’ll hold onto you
Let’s find out the beauty of seeing things through…

-Sara Groves, “Loving a Person”

Sometimes getting hurt makes you question what love is supposed to look like. It makes you wonder whether it’s really worth the good possibility of getting hurt. And really, those answers can only be found when you look at some examples of real love. Here’s what I discovered about love when I considered a few of the precious people God has placed in my life…

Love is when someone looks me in the eye and says, “Sarah, whatever decision you make, we’ll get through it together.” In that moment, they are committing to walking through the mess and dirt of life with me –even if I make the wrong decision and bring consequences on myself. They are not going to let me figure this out alone.

Love is when someone lets me completely freak out for a moment (or a day, or a week, or longer…), and in the next moment acts as if nothing odd has happened.

Love is patient. It’s a commitment to the time it will take to “see things through.” Going a step further, it’s a commitment to let a person become all that God plans for them to be – in His timing, not yours – and to love them through the process.

Once upon a time, I thought loving a person would be easy. I figured it would just come naturally. Now, in my less-naïve years, I’m finding that love takes time, work, and risk – more risk than I was prepared for. And it doesn’t come naturally at all – at least, not with some people, in some situations. It’s not clean and simple. It’s not convenient. And it’s certainly not pain-free. I didn’t expect that.

I suppose we could just choose to forego the whole thing to avoid getting hurt…I mean, let’s face it – getting hurt really, really stinks. It can leave scars and take what feels like an eternity to get over. But if we aren’t willing to take the risk of committing, investing and putting ourselves out there, we won’t ever get to experience real love. And what do we gain by protecting ourselves to such a degree, anyway? Are we not created to be filled up and poured out again? Are we not meant to live lives of passion and purpose? Are we not designed to further the kingdom of God?

Can we accomplish any of this without love?

Physically speaking, our hearts are meant to pulse and work and strain to keep the body alive. It's the same with the Body of Christ...it can only survive when we exercise the strength of our hearts in loving one another.

walk.

“For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life…” Matthew 7:14 (ESV)

The way is hard. I seem to forget that concept pretty frequently, judging by my utter shock when things don’t seem to work out the way I’d like right away – especially when I know I’ve made the right choice, that I’ve taken a step in the right direction.

I wish things could be easier on this journey toward Home. Clearer, cleaner…but often times, they aren’t. Sometimes I move forward, knowing what God has called me to do in a particular situation, and things don’t get any clearer. Sometimes they get more confusing. And all I can do is just trust that God is good, and that what He has said is true, and…well, that’s pretty much it.

And as I look at some examples in the Bible, I see that things never worked all out that easily. They worked out, yes, but there were always obstacles – things that people like Abraham, Moses, Joseph, David, Esther, and countless others didn’t expect. Some things that were their fault, but a lot of things that weren’t. And there were waiting periods. Long waiting periods – decades, for some – where these heroes of our faith were walking in the dark. They didn’t know what was going to happen. They didn’t know how things were going to turn out. They just knew they had to keep moving forward, step by step, and hold onto the only thing they knew – that God was faithful.

And He was. And He is.

My own journey these days feels more like this: baby step by baby step…then take another small step…now pause and wait for a minute, ask some questions, wrestle with what I know to be true…then take another small step...

Some days it feels like I’m not getting anywhere. However, a wise person told me once that sometimes God only illuminates the next step – not twenty steps down the road, not even three. Just the very next step. And you take it, and then He shows the next one, and so on. That’s tough, because I want to know where things are going now. But I trust that what He says is true. He says the way is hard – and I am experiencing that – but it leads to life.

My encouragement to you, fellow sojourner, is this: Don’t lose heart. Even if you find yourself stopped on the road for a minute, don’t give up. Even if you feel completely in the dark, even though you know you’re on the right path, He has not led you astray. Cry out if you need to. Grope around in the dark for a minute…and find His hands…and take another baby step forward. He is leading us to life.

smile.

happiness is...

• a chocolate coke from Guerin's Pharmacy
• a playlist including Jay Clifford, Brandi Carlile, John Mayer Trio and Robert Randolph & the Family Band
• a improv show or rehearsal that brightens your entire day
• watching "Overdrawn at the Memory Bank" for the umpteenth time and quoting every word
• "just sitting" in a park
• a day at the farm with shotguns, skeet, and bakies
• an impromptu 8-minute band jam on a B-chord
• an iced coffee in the morning
• a fresh pumpkin scone with a double-shot of espresso in the afternoon
• a text message conversation worth keeping
• spending time with an amiable toddler
• making a not-so-amiable toddler smile
• making a not-so-amiable grown person smile
• knowing where "home" is and going there as often as you can
• knowing who "home" is and being with them as often as you can
• finding out that you're "home" for someone else
• memorizing a song or poem with many words
• finding someone who actually enjoys listening to you quote aforementioned song or poem
• being understood
• making someone laugh without really meaning to
• a wedding with your dearest friends in the world
• looking back at a period of time and marvelling at the work of redemption

these are just some things that make my life amazing to me.

bread.

Today, my reading led me to Deuteronomy 8...

Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land that the LORD promised on oath to your forefathers. Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you.
Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and revering him. For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills.
When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today...

Several things I noticed:
1. God disciplines us as a father disciplines his child - meaning He does not torture us (notice the lack of feet-swelling and clothes wearing out during 40 years in the desert -rather miraculous if you ask me), but rather corrects us so that it will go well with us. His actions are completely driven by love for us, even if it hurts sometimes.
2. We live - truly live - on every word that comes from God's mouth. His words are life itself. I'm not completely sure how that works just yet, but I will get back to you.
3. God is bringing us into a good land...

thegloriousalmost.

I read this a few weeks ago, and it's resounded in my heart ever since. I pray it's an encouragement to you in the coming days...the day is almost here.

Romans 13:8-14 -
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

impression.

Matthew 7:1 – “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”

Some of my deepest friendships started out with bad first impressions. I can think of at least 3 different people who I judged negatively by their behavior right off the bat, only to discover some time later what incredible human beings they really are. Fortunately for me, they gave me another chance…

Here’s the thing about judging others – it does absolutely no good. It hurts our relationships. It causes us to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to. And for some reason, it makes us think we know enough to determine a person’s intrinsic value. This is all very faulty.

I may think I know what a person’s thinking when they act in a way that bothers me, but I don’t. Most times, I don’t have any understanding of where a person is truly coming from, what they’re really dealing with, what has happened in their past to make them react the way they do…all I have to go on is what’s on the outside. And while what’s on the outside often irks me, I will never be in the right to judge them for it. I certainly wouldn’t want to be judged based on my own outward appearance, because a lot of times that’s just a front to hide what I’m really feeling.

We have never been granted the responsibility to judge anyone, nor will we ever. And I thank God for that. How could I possibly be a just judge when I have no idea what’s in a person’s heart? But thanks be to God, the responsibility is His alone, and He knows everything about us. Only He can judge fairly. And if He sees fit to accept me into His family, knowing all I’ve done and thought and said in my few years on this earth, then who am I to say someone else shouldn’t be shown the same mercy?

When we put ourselves in the position to judge, we jeopardize the opportunity to develop meaningful relationships with the people around us. Is it worth it?

pause.

I love Christmas. I really do. But if you’re anything like me, you’ve realized recently that this season is completely blowing past you and you are so busy, you can barely keep your head on straight.

It’s a shame, because there’s a message that we would all benefit to pause and remember, even if you know the story of Jesus’ birth like the back of your hand. Just take a look at the hymn below…I realized recently how poignant these words are for where we are today. I invite you to pause for a moment, reflect on the lyrics, and just rest in the peace of God – if only for a moment. Blessings to you…

"It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth,
To touch their harps of gold;
“Peace on the earth, good will to men,
From Heaven’s all gracious King.
The world in solemn stillness lay,
To hear the angels sing.

Still through the cloven skies they come
With peaceful wings unfurled,
And still their heavenly music floats
O’er all the weary world;
Above its sad and lowly plains
They bend on hovering wing,
And ever o’er its Babel-sounds
The blessed angels sing.

Yet with the woes of sin and strife
The world has suffered long;
Beneath the heavenly strain have rolled
Two thousand years of wrong;
And man, at war with man, hears not
The tidings which they bring;
O hush the noise, ye men of strife,
And hear the angels sing!

O ye, beneath life’s crushing load,
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow,
Look now! for glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing;
O rest beside the weary road
And hear the angels sing!

For lo! the days are hastening on,
By prophets seen of old,
When with the ever-circling years
Shall come the time foretold,
When peace shall over all the earth
Its ancient splendors fling,
And the whole world give back the song
Which now the angels sing."

trust.

A girl in my small group shared recently how she’s learning to trust God in difficult situations despite what she feels. She made an interesting point: “If it feels comfortable and easy, I’m probably not trusting Him like I should.”

Let’s face it – trust is not comfortable. It’s not something I ever really feel like doing.

In fact, trust often times works against our emotions as we seek to take God at His word. When less-than-favorable circumstances affect our lives, our flesh is tempted to respond in fear, anxiety, or anger. We freak out, look around, freak out some more... That’s actually the easy way to respond – freaking out just comes so naturally. (Or is that just the case with me? Um…)

But trust is the more difficult choice. Trust says that God is still on His throne, no matter what I’m seeing in the world around me, and that God is for me, no matter what I feel. It’s not a foolish way of thinking – it’s the right way, the tried-and-tested way, the way of hope. The foolish thing would be to leave it up to our emotions to guide us through the rough waters that we will inevitably encounter.

Another friend recently told me that she lost her full-time job, has had a lot of trouble finding another one, and needs a new place to live… but instead of giving into fear, she has learned to rest in the Lord’s provision. And in the midst of all her hardships, she has seen God provide for her again and again…and again…in the most random ways.

It was the peace on my friend’s face as she recounted her situation that spoke to my heart the most. That peace is what I long for. It’s what everyone longs for, more than the job or the house or the retirement fund. It’s the peace of complete trust.

When I get overwhelmed by the struggles of life, sometimes I freak out – so did Peter, when he took his eyes off Jesus, saw the waves, and started to sink. But does my emotional response negate the reality of God’s existence, His power, or His willingness to save? Not in the least! In fact, my hope is found in the reality that God does not change despite my lack of faith – “if we are faithless, He will remain faithful, for He cannot disown Himself” (2 Timothy 2:13).

I would just rather save myself from the pain of not trusting my God, and instead receive His peace to guide me through these waters.

truth.

“Imagine how rich your life can be if you let a fear of failure go!”

This encouragement was spoken to me recently regarding an upcoming audition and the accompanying fear that I might not pass it. But these words sank deep into me and got me to think about just how much my fear of failure keeps me from. It goes far beyond trying out for plays or acting troupes, writing songs or speaking in front of crowds. Those things are challenging, yes. But the fear of failure affects my relationships as well, and that’s where the real tragedy occurs.

1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

Well shoot, I want to be made perfect in love! And the thing is – I have been! God has made me perfect and holy, regardless of how I feel on my bad days. And if God (perfect Love) is with me, and He is indeed with me, then there should be no fear. So what’s holding me back?

The big issue here is faith. Do I believe what God has said? Do I believe that God is perfect love? Obviously, no matter what I believe, the truth of Scripture doesn’t change. However, what I believe directly influences the way I live my life, and this is where the problem lies. As my dear friend recently wrote, “Fear is completely unacceptable for Christians.” Harsh words, but totally true if we really believe what the Word says. And yet, that pesky voice keeps yelling at me…

What is it that my fear of failure is really saying to me? It’s saying that if I don’t make this audition, that must mean I’m not good enough. If I deliver a talk and I feel it goes poorly, that must mean I’m not cut out for this. I take a chance and love deeply, and then something goes wrong, that must mean all humanity is evil or perhaps real love is a sham.

Are any of those “must means” true? Nope.

What is true? If I fail at something, God’s opinion of me does not change. If I fall short of a goal, He loves me just as much. In fact, I think God uses the failures in our lives just as much as the victories to develop our character and strengthen our faith. So I think I can safely let go of this fear of not measuring up, because there’s really no way for me to not measure up in God’s eyes.

And that’s Who we’re living for, right?

So if I were to really trust Perfect Love and let go of this fear of failure, what would that free me up to do? Well, I think I could actually fulfill Colossians 3:12-14:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

If I were free of fear, I could truly show compassion and kindness to everyone I meet. I could be gentle in all situations, without fear that I’ll get walked over. I could be patient, without fear that I won’t get whatever it is my heart is longing for. I could forgive completely, without fear that justice won’t be done. And I could love – really, truly, deeply love – without fear that I’ll end up broken-hearted.

In short, freedom from fear enables me to live like Christ commands.

Perfect love casts out all fear, and we are holy and dearly loved. Let’s try living like it.

surrendering.

“I don’t know that many people who are completely and totally surrendered to God. I mean, not just today, but throughout history – there just aren’t that many people. Which leads me to think it’s just not possible.”

I had to admit that I didn’t know that many people either…actually, I don’t know any who are surrendered to God 100 percent of the time. I’m pretty sure those people are in heaven right now. We all have sin issues to struggle with until the day we’re done. There’s a bit of comfort in that, I think.

“The thing is,” I said, “it’s a daily kind of surrender. I wake up and I surrender my life to God, and then I do it again the next day, and the next…sometimes even moment by moment. It’s a constant choice.”

“So you’re telling me,” he said incredulously, taking another bite of the funnel cake between us, “that you are willing to totally surrender yourself every day to God, even though He lets bad stuff happen, even in your life?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“Because I know me. And I know the mistakes I’ve made when I’ve ignored Him and tried it my way, and how much pain I’ve caused myself, and how much I would have avoided had I just listened to Him.”

“What if He asked you to give up the one thing you loved most in the world. Would you do it?”

I had to pause. Would I? Have I? I took an instantaneous, honest appraisal of my life. At the time, I was working through the issue of finances…was I willing to completely surrender that? Or what if, in the future, He asked me to give up a relationship that I loved? I suddenly remembered that torturous feeling I get when I’m grappling with obedience, and how long it has taken me in years past to be willing to give up or do things He’s clearly called me to in total trust. I remembered times of agonizing and fighting until I finally threw up my hands in surrender…and later reaped a harvest.

Ultimately, yes, I would do it. I would surrender whatever He asked, however long it took me to do it. Because to ignore His call (i.e. to disobey) would mean to forego His best. And I know that whatever He asks me to give up, He is going to replace with something infinitely better.

That's the way He is.

Psalm 37:4-6
Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

cloud.

One of my favorite Bible stories is in 1 Kings, chapter 18. No kidding.

Here’s what’s happening. There’s this prophet named Elijah who has been involved in some of the greatest displays of God’s power that Israel has seen since the days of Moses and Joshua. In this particular story, Israel has been in a drought for a few years – another display of power God enacted through Elijah – and one day Elijah told the king to prepare for a heavy rain. So Elijah goes up to this mountain to pray, I guess, and he tells his servant to “go and look toward the sea.”
The servant goes, comes back and says, “There’s nothing there.”
Elijah tells him to go back and check again.
Servant comes back, says the same thing.
This happens 8 times. Finally, the servant comes back to Elijah and says, “A cloud as small as a man’s hand is rising from the sea.”
Well, Elijah takes that as the sign that God is sending rain, and he runs (faster than a horse and chariot) all the way back before the storm hits.

Kind of a random story, at first glance. However, I think it’s pretty timely…

Note that the servant told Elijah he saw a cloud “as small as a man’s hand.” That’s a pretty small cloud! I wonder if the guy would have noticed that cloud if it had been there the first time he went to the sea…or would it rather have blended into the landscape?

Maybe seeing nothing at all so many times in a row made the servant more perceptive of the first sign, small as it was, that a storm was finally coming.

Here’s the application:
Have you ever needed God to move on your behalf, but for the longest time nothing seemed to happen?
Maybe God, Who is always at work on our behalf, gives us seasons where nothing seems to happen so that when He does start to move visibly, we’re able to notice it from the first moment. Maybe He uses those periods of no activity to heighten our awareness of what He’s really doing, so that we can actively take part in that journey with Him from start to finish.

So where are you right now? If you’re experiencing that season of drought, keep in mind that God hears your prayers, and He is on the move whether you see it or not. Maybe He wants to use this time to sharpen your senses for when He takes visible action…And the next thing you know, after a drought you thought would never end, you find yourself in the middle of a downpour.

sozo.

Our God is in the business of healing. In the Old Testament, the original Hebrew word for “heal” was “rapa” – “to heal; to be healed, be cured; to repair, to recover, see that is completely healed, wholesome, makes fresh.” In other words, it meant literal, physical healing.

As soon as we get into the New Testament, however, the word used for “heal” changes. When Jesus enters the scene, the term “rapa,” with its literal connotation, is replaced by “therapeuo” or “sozo.” Why is that?

Let’s take a deeper look at this word sozo. The NIV Strongest Exhaustive Concordance defines sozo by the following words: “to save, rescue, deliver; to heal; to be in right relationship with God, with the implication that the condition before salvation was one of grave danger or distress; bring safely, cured, delivered, get better, made well, survive.”

Jesus came to heal us, but in a much greater sense than the purely physical. First and foremost, He came to heal our relationship with God, which we never could have done on our own. He rescued us from eternal separation from our Father. And as if that weren't enough, He offers us healing in every area of our lives. No matter what has happened to us or what we've done in the past, His love offers complete healing and restoration, and through that healing He gives us the free gift of abundant life. That is the essence of sozo.

The interesting thing about sozo is that almost every time it’s used in the New Testament, it’s related somehow to faith of the person in question. For instance, Jesus tells Jairus, the man who has come seeking Him on behalf of his dying daughter, to "just believe and she will be healed [sozo]" (Luke 8:50). When the woman with the issue of blood touches Jesus’ cloak, she thinks to herself, “If I just touch His clothes, I will be healed [sozo]” (Matthew 5:23). And in response, Jesus says, “Your faith has healed [sozo] you” (Matthew 5:24). It’s almost as if He is saying, “Your faith has caused you to be honest about what's going on in your life, and your belief that I am Who I say I am has allowed Me to truly heal the deepest places of your heart. Your faith has put you in right relationship with Me."

So it would seem that this sozo is directly tied to our faith. It’s our faith that makes sozo possible in our lives. Yes, God can do whatever He wants and heal however He wants to, whether we realize He’s doing it or not. Our temporary lack of faith does not decrease His power. However, our faith and belief in Him certainly helps in our ability to receive true healing. The more authentic we are about our need for Him, the more open we will be to receiving His help.
I think it comes down to a choice. Will we believe God to be God in our lives? Will we trust Him enough to open ourselves up and be real about what's going on with us? We are all in desperate need of sozo... Do we have the faith to admit it?

kazoo.

Summerville won the "Campus of the Week" award, via a Fedex from Long Point this morning. And so, we celebrated... 

rockstar.

I’ve been thinking a lot about humility since Greg's message last week (about how we all want to be rockstars). And at first I thought I was doing okay in that area…until someone committed one of my pet peeves.

We’ve all got pet peeves, right? I’ve got more than a few. I get irritated at things that beep incessantly, dogs that jump on me, babies that fuss during weddings, people who take my parking spot...

That’s right – my parking spot. I used to live in a house with a couple of roommates, and we were given three parking spots. However, someone else, who didn’t live there, would often take my parking spot. And it infuriated me – after all, I’m the one paying the rent, right? I’m the one who lives there, who has a lot to bring in from her car at night, and somebody else is parking in my spot! It’s just not right.

I really got angry about this, I’m not gonna lie. But then I started wondering why I was so mad. Was it really about the parking spot? Or was it about something else, something bigger than that?

There’s a passage from C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity that’s been rolling around in my head ever since I started thinking about this. Listen to this: “If you want to find out how proud you are the easiest way is to ask yourself, 'How much do I dislike it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of me, or shove their oar in, or patronize me, or show off?’”

My answer to each of those questions is, “I hate it.”

Why do I hate it? Because I feel I deserve better treatment. I deserve to be noticed. I deserve to have that parking spot. I, I, I, I…uh-oh.

Here’s why humility is so hard for me. If I am able to choose to be humble – for instance, if I drive up to my house, see an empty parking spot nearby, but decide to take one further away so that my neighbor can have the closer spot – then I’m fine. It’s cool – I’m in control, and I have made that choice.

If, however, the path of humility is chosen for me, which is more often the case, then I have a problem. I am left to only react – I have no control. And I don’t like not being in control.

But humility should flow through our actions and our reactions. Look at Philippians 2:5-11:

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Jesus didn’t reach for power. He didn’t strive for attention. He just was who He was. He loved people. He healed people. He often gave up rest and food to minister to the lost and hurting. And even when people mistook Him for a mere man, He accepted it. He was obedient to the mission, even to death. He acted humbly, and He reacted humbly.

And then God glorified Him.

This whole thing about being noticed and getting ahead and all that – it’s all striving for nothing. God lowers, and God elevates. He just asks us to trust Him to do it in His timing, and to love others as ourselves in the meantime. To keep His mission in mind above all else. It’s a matter of focus, really.

C.S. Lewis concluded his thoughts on pride by saying that the truly humble man “will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.”

Hmmm...Seems the parking spot is the least of my issues. How about you?