an unexpected partnership.

A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. Proverbs 14:30

Have you ever had that sickening feeling inside, that sense that someone else has something better than you? That someone else is getting your “just desserts”? Have you ever felt that torment of bitter comparison, wondering what makes them so special and you not-so-much?

No? Oh…um…me neither.

Just kidding. I think we’ve all been there. Jealousy sneaks in and erodes like a cancer before we’ve taken it captive and dealt with it. The Bible shows us over and over again what a nasty business it is.

In praying through this very thing today, I made a startling discovery: jealousy and unbelief walk hand-in-hand. 

Think about it: If we truly believe that God is the Giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17) and that He has provided everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), would we really feel inclined to pine for someone else’s stuff?

If we are spending so much energy looking at another person’s success, status or possessions, making ourselves sick with asking “why,” then it could be that we are not believing that God has given us everything we need in this moment, at this time.

Choose to believe in God’s specific goodness to you, at this time, and jealousy instantly loses its power.

Life may not look the way you want it to right now. It’s okay. Truly, God is good, and He is preparing you for your future season. We go from glory to glory (Psalm 84:7, 2 Corinthians 3:18), whether our hands are full or empty. He is with us in the summer and the winter, and through every change in between. Let go of what is past, open your hands to what is coming, and give thanks for what you have today.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to rot anymore. Believe Him. Rest in His promises, and the tranquility that comes from trusting Him will bring life to your bones. 

a year ago today

A year ago today, we stood in our living room, looking around awkwardly. We held it together on the outside, but inwardly we wondered what on earth we were going to do.

The wedding was perfect. The honeymoon, glorious. Ten sweet days of celebrating, exploring new territory and relaxing--the only responsibilities we had at the time.

And then...we were "home." But was it really? I didn't have any of my things in your house, and you didn't know what your house was going to look like once I finally got settled. "How is this supposed to work?" we thought. Was marriage supposed to feel this...uncomfortable? Thank God for best friends and helpful articles from people who have been there. People who tell the truth and say, "Yeah, this feels weird, but it's normal. It's ok. I was there, and now I'm here, and it gets a lot better."

Because if I didn't know it got better, and SOON, I might have had a panic attack.

But it did get better. I "nested" as soon as possible, starting with a room I could easily claim as my own: the kitchen.  Somehow, that did the trick--it's amazing what putting up a few of your own cookbooks will do.

We opened gifts and displayed some of our things. We unpacked, packed, threw away, organized--all that boring moving stuff. But through all of that, we figured each other out a little more day after day. We asked questions, we talked things through, we felt the awkward pauses and pushed through them.

We celebrated, explored new territory, and, finally, we relaxed.

We developed our routines...at least, for that year. And they were good. It was all good, really--even that difficult day a year ago today.

I took a stroll around our neighborhood tonight and, as I walked up to our front steps, I remembered that feeling I had a year ago of looking at our door and realizing, "This is my door now. This is our house." And that same surge of excitement from 12 months ago rushed over me again, because there is absolutely nowhere else I'd rather be.